Lost in my thoughts

Good morning. In honor of the final season of "Lost," I am blogging live inside the tent we've set up in Michael's playroom (how cool is that?). To truly achieve the spirit of "Lost" I should probably take my laptop outside and pontificate in the elements. But hey, it's cold out there all right?!

We're three episodes in now, and I would like to take a moment to share my thoughts on the various plot twists. First I would like to say "what?" And let me also add "huh?" Finally let me end by stating "eh?"

That about sums it all up for me. Yes indeed. I realized sometime during the third season that my mortal brain is not equipped to handle the intricate goings on when it comes to "Lost." I simply stare at the television screen and take it all in, offering witty commentary such as "hey that was cool!" and "I'm confused, I thought he/she/it was dead/in the past/a ghost."

What a show!!

I did have a few thoughts, however, during last night's triumphant return of the mysterious Claire. Namely, I got to thinking (which you know by now is never a good idea) about alternate realities and whether there is an alternate-reality me out there. What would he look like? What would he do? What is his favorite minor league hockey team? Important stuff like that.

I was thinking that alternate-reality me probably wouldn't spend mornings blogging about television shows inside a tent in his son's playroom. He probably wouldn't grow beards every few months out of boredom. He probably wouldn't have weird allergies to bananas and beer. He probably wouldn't run panicking to the window every few minutes wondering if his yorkshire terrior had just run away again. And he definitely wouldn't wear Boise State football jerseys to the grocery store. In February.

No, I picture alternate-reality me wearing cool suits like Mr. Big and drinking scotch. He most likely speaks in a really cool husky voice like Jack Donaghy. He probably starts conversations saying suave things like "Hello there. You look lovely this evening." He probably laughs confidently at all of the appropriate moments and has a strong handshake. He probably drives a black Lexus and definitely doesn't put magnets of blue turf all over the bumper.

You know, the more I think about alternate-reality me the more I realize something - Alternate-reality me is kind of a jerk, don't you think?

What was I talking about again, kiddies?

- Dave