C'mon Dad! You're better than that!

I've said it before, but parenting is a humbling business. You can do a gazillion things right, and the one time you screw up, it comes back to haunt you. Take my word for it.

I have a lot of experience screwing up.

My latest parenting hiccup occurred during an otherwise cheerful trek to the park yesterday. It was one of those after-school special afternoons, with the sun shining brillantly amidst a crisp blue sky. Michael and I were enjoying a "please Lord let me remember this forever" time together. I stood by giggling while watching Michael fiercely pump his legs on the swing. The poor swing hardly moved, but Michael didn't care.

"Wee, look Dad! Look how high I'm going all by myself!"

"Yeah," I responded. "You're getting up there .... Hey, do you want a push?"

"No!" he answered. "I can do it myself!"

After several minutes of Michael's valiant "swinging," we took off for a journey up the "mountain." The park near our home has a rather large hill where kids (and their goofy Dads) can hike to the top, hoist their arms into the air and scream "I'm king of the world!" Or at least that's what I've, ahem, heard other people say.

We reached the summit and gazed upon the vast kingdom of Eagle. We looked down at the numerous rooftops and waved to the tiny cars passing by. Over in the distance sat Bogus Basin (the local ski resort) along with the rest of the gorgeous foothills.

"Look how high we are Michael!" I said with fatherly pride.

"Yeah, we're so high!" Michael responded. He followed with his patented "We're so high up here" ritual of spinning and laughing.

If only some moments could last forever.

A few minutes later we descended down the mountain and Michael quickly ran to the playground, joining a group of about 20 screaming kids.

Here is where Ole' Dave screwed up.

It was a rookie mistake. I know better. I do! Here's what happened:

I positioned myself on a bench letting the sun shine directly on my face. It's been so long since I've felt the soothing hot rays on my skin, and this sun worshipper instantly found himself in a state of bliss. I pulled out my novel of the week, "The Known World" by Edward P. Jones, and settled in for a little reading. Before I knew it I was completely entranced by Jones' tales of slavery in the South during the 1800's. So entranced, actually, that I completely forgot to check on my five-year-old running wild on the playground.

A long time passed and still I failed to check on Michael. When I finally came up for air, completely fascinated and horrified at the idea of free African American citizens owning slaves (which apparently actually occurred in the South), I glanced around the playground and failed to see Michael.

Any parent knows that you never actually see your child on the first glance. Kids have a natural camouflage forcing parents to "work" when locating their kids at parks, stores, school playgrounds and county fairs. It's nature, man.

Anyway, I kept searching without any success. A feeling of dread hit my stomach as I realized that Michael was gone. He was not on the playground. The little guy was gone, gone away.

Now, I've screwed up before so I knew better than to actually panic at this stage. The park is extremely large and contains a vast network of fields behind the playground. I mustered my best casual walk and strolled over toward these fields, desperately trying to conceal the fact that I lost my kid in front of the Super Moms.

A few moments later I spotted three little dots moving quickly in the far corner of the fields. One of the little dots was wearing a black t-shirt and red pants. That little dot, kiddies, was my son.

I quickly ran over to Michael and scolded him for leaving the playground without telling me. He was very remorseful and promised not to do it again. I spent the next several hours scolding myself for such a rookie mistake. It says in plain English on page 34 of the Official Parenting Manual: "Parents shall not forget to check on their children while said children are playing at the park. No matter how great the novel they are reading is. No matter how warm the sun feels. No matter how sleepy they might feel." I would add: "And that means you DAVE!!!"

So that was my Thursday, kiddies. How was yours?

- Dave