I have to say that, personally, I was rather proud of my sermon. I thought I covered all of the bases - my dog Kiki, ghost stories, Merle Haggard. All of the essentials. The speech elicited a rather unusual response, however. The crowd of college professors and graduate students failed to grasp the intricate wisdom inherent in the television show "Most Haunted." The professors decided to catch up on their sleep just a few minutes into the speech. At least I was helpful in some way.
I thought I would post the sermon here, and let you decide for yourself whether it is a brilliant work of art, or a great sleeping aid. Either way it's good for something. Right?
"WE AIN'T AFRAID OF NO GHOSTS"
A hearty good afternoon to one and all. We’ve been together now for, oh, about a half an hour. In that time I feel we’ve developed a special bond. A cosmic hug, if you will. Can you feel it?
Can you feel the love?
Considering this special bond between us, I feel it is only appropriate that I stand before you and spill my guts. It’s what any self-respecting person would do in front of strangers, right?
So here goes. My name is Dave and I am hopelessly addicted to college football. I love to sing in my car, although I do sing quite badly. I often turn to my husky dog, Kiki, for advice and usually that advice is extremely helpful. I used to consider myself intelligent, but I now have concrete evidence that my four-year-old son Michael is in fact smarter than I am.
Oh yeah, and I believe in ghosts.
Not the sort of ghosts you’re likely envisioning. I’m not talking about the oogedy-boogedy ghosts that float up and down the stairway and inspire one of my all-time favorite guilty-pleasure television shows, “Most Haunted.” If you haven’t seen this show, you need to check it out. Basically a group of bored British actors travel to the creepiest old castles you can imagine, walk around in the dark, and completely scare the willy-nilly out of each other. It’s hysterical! My absolute favorite character is this “medium” guy that enters a room and immediately unleashes a dramatic swoon that would make William Shatner blush. He claims to see everything from maids jumping out of windows to long-lost children begging for dolls.
I absolutely love watching it. I just don’t believe the show holds any real truth.
No, the ghosts that I believe in are much more personal. They are easily recognizable and three times as terrifying as anything shown on television. They don’t reside in ancient castles or cemeteries. The horrifying reality is they reside in our hearts, our minds and our souls.
I call them the ghosts of our past. (Dum, dum, dum!)
These shadowy figures haunt us with memories we would just as soon forget. Wonderful recollections of people we’ve shunned, or embarrassing mistakes we’ve made. They simply relish reliving anything that brings horror to your heart and a cry of, “I can’t believe I did that!” from your mouth. You’ll be snug in your bed, smiling and content from a blissfully positive day, when suddenly a ghost will fly out of the closet, bend down to your ear and softly whisper … “Do you remember when you spread those rumors about your college roommate, and the pain it brought him? Boy you really messed up that time! I’ll bet he’s still recovering.”
These hauntings leave you shivering between the sheets and longing for one of those movie ghosts that simply rearranges furniture or fries eggs on the counter. Personally, I’ve battled a number of these ghosts from my past, and I’m guessing you have too. Through the years I’ve learned to deal with these hauntings, although it has not been easy. I’ve found the secret lies in humility, confession and a whole army of loving support. That’s where you fine folks come in! You beautiful Unitarian Universalists you!
The type of loving support needed to silence these pesky ghosts is located inside these very walls, and lovingly wrapped within the very hearts and souls that make up our beloved UU family. Each day I grow more grateful for this community of spiritual seekers, dedicated to nurturing souls and helping to heal the world. Tirelessly striving not only to help people discover their true spiritual path, but also to find their best selves and achieve a happiness they may not have thought possible. I’ve benefited tremendously from this faith, and judging by the smiling faces in this room, I’m guessing a number of you have benefited as well.
Okay. Enough koombayah for now. Let’s move on to some more spooky ghost stories, shall we? You may not be aware of this, but your beautiful little town is haunted by a terrifying ghost. An extremely scary supernatural entity that is actually quite handsome, if you ask me. After all, this dashing ghost looks just like me! Only quite a bit younger and with a lot less gray hair (A friend calls my gray hair a sign of wisdom. So feel free to change that last sentence to “a lot less wisdom in his hair,” if you like).
I have to be honest. The invitation to visit your wonderful Fellowship left me both excited and terrified. Excited to meet all of you, yet terrified at the prospect of returning to the very spot where my greatest ghost resides. You see, I lived in Pocatello several years ago while attending Idaho State University (Yes, I am a proud Bengal). I continued to reside in the Gate City while my wife, April, earned her Master’s degree.
I spent six memorable years here, and like most people’s college years, this time in my life can best be described as a little good, a lot of bad and a pinch of ugly. It’s the ugly part that breathes life into my ghost. Sets him free to roam among the streets and spend ample time haunting various alcohol establishments. Let’s just say I spent a lot of my time paying homage to Merle Haggard’s classic line, “I think I’ll just sit here and drink,” while living here.
I was in my early 20’s at that time, bulletproof and I knew everything. All you had to do was ask me. I’ve discovered through sharing this story that I wasn’t alone in my youthful exuberance. But it still doesn’t change the fact that “young punk,” is probably the most accurate description of me in those days. I honestly thought the world revolved around my brand new leather jacket, and people were just dying to hear me espouse my wisdom on every topic from the evils of organized religion (I had no idea what a “UU” was in those days), to the reason water never actually starts boiling while you look directly at it (Again, I did a lot of drinking in those days).
They say that confession is good for the soul, and since we don’t have a Catholic priest handy, I’m humbly asking you to serve that role right now. If you will indulge me, I feel it’s time I finally came clean and confessed my sins. I was a piece of work back then, notorious for saying, “I’ll call you soon and we’ll do something,” and then never actually picking up the phone. I made an art form out of saying awful things behind people’s backs, and I wasn’t above cracking rather hurtful “jokes” right in front of unsuspecting victims. I thought I was being hilarious. Looking back now I realize I was simply being a pain-in-the-you-know-what. It gives me the heeby jeebies just thinking about it.
My greatest regret, the incident that my ghost most relishes reliving, actually included a former member of this Fellowship. Many of you may know Steve Miller, who worked as the Managing Editor at the Idaho State Journal newspaper. Mr. Miller was my boss in those days, and I decided that I did not care for him. Mainly because Mr. Miller had the audacity to believe that I in fact did NOT know everything. He dared to question my brilliance and reprimanded me for my cocky behavior.
Well, one night I happened to see Mr. Miller standing in line at the movie theater. I was several yards away, and for reasons that I will never understand, I decided to shout, “Steve us such a (let’s just say I used a word that rhymes with “grass mole”)” loud enough so that he was sure to hear me. Not surprisingly, Mr. Miller whipped around with steam pouring out of his ears and started to shuffle toward me. I simply strolled out of the theater with a sickening swagger.
Please know this incident haunts me every day. It devastates me every time I think about it. If any of you are still in contact with Mr. Miller, please tell him that “punk kid” Dave Ward is utterly and truly sorry for his actions.
We all endure hauntings from the ghosts of our past. Some are not nearly as embarrassing as the episodes I’ve shared with you this afternoon. And some might be much more painful and life altering. It is extremely important to remember, however, that these hauntings are only reflections of the past. Yes they are terrifying, but they have absolutely no bearing on the present or the future. The best thing you can do is acknowledge the pain, admit the guilt, and use these hauntings as learning tools for the future. You might say to yourself, “Here’s how I acted in that situation. Here is the incredibly mortifying result that came about. Perhaps it would be wise to not make that choice again.” Sounds logical, right?
Always remember that life is one long and glorious journey. I’m sure you’ll agree the ride is anything but smooth. There are ups, there are downs, and there are enough twists and turns to keep the excitement flowing. We all need to cherish this wonderful gift the unnamable powers that be have bestowed upon us. The good, the bad and, yes, even the ugly. It’s all connected. I dare say it’s all beautiful.
UUA Moderator Gini Courter recently spoke at my home Fellowship in Boise. During a truly inspiring sermon she pointed out how most UU’s cannot agree on whether there is life after death. But all of us can agree that there is definitely death after life. Her slogan for UU’s would state – “We are all going to die. Have you lived yet?”
Part of this “living” includes making mistakes. Some mistakes are dreadfully embarrassing and worthy of haunting status. Yet we all need to search our hearts and seek forgiveness. In a perfect world we would find each person we have offended and beg for mercy. Real life often does not allow this. The real key is forgiving yourself. The reason is simple. If you can’t forgive yourself, nobody else will.
Joshua Loth Liebman writes, “We achieve inner health only through forgiveness – the forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves.”
A wonderful poem by Sri Chimnoy adds to this theme:
Forgive,
You will have happiness.
Forget,
You will have satisfaction.
Forgive and forget,
You will have everlasting peace
Within and without.
The time has come to seize the pain, and cast it out of your heart forever. Make room for healing. Make room for love.
A lot has transpired since my dreadful night at the movie theater. I’ve accumulated a significant amount of wisdom in my hair. I’ve matured over the years. The powers that be somehow saw fit to place me in charge of a helpless human life (and thankfully I haven’t let them down yet!). Most importantly, for the first time in my life I’ve discovered the truly saving grace within a loving, trusting and genuinely caring community.
I realize now that life’s journey is not a solo ride. It’s meant to be shared with others. Around four years ago I discovered the UU faith. I had no concept of a religious community, and my burdens were locked deep inside my soul. It wasn’t long before I realized I was unleashing those private burdens and falling gracefully within the loving arms of my UU family. We are so lucky to have a community where our troubles are shared, our hearts are open and our lives are accepted. Period.
I commend you here at the Pocatello Unitarian Universalist Fellowship for including these wonderful themes in your mission statement. Your quest to, “nurture our own and other’s spiritual growth, giving each other comfort, and sharing laughter along the way,” is a lifeline for troubled souls in need of a home. As is your dedication to, “honor life experience as a source of our religious values.” I was only half joking when I opened my speech by referring to a bond between us. Thanks to these tremendous goals listed in your mission statement, I knew I was among kindred spirits. I could indeed feel the love.
You want to know something? Lately when I look closely at my ghost, I see through the arrogance and the swagger. I look directly in the eyes, and guess what I find? I find fear. I see a young man thrust into adulthood and scared to death. A young man harboring tremendous loneliness and a feeling that he just doesn’t “fit in” among his peers. A lost soul in search of a home.
Boy I could have used you guys back then!
After recognizing my ghost for what he truly is – A scared soul consistently making bad choices – I no longer feel fear. I actually feel empathy. Not for the choices that I made, but for the confused young man that I was. I am now able to understand and forgive. I hope that you will join me in vanquishing the ghosts of the past, and steering your sights on a bright future ahead. It’s quite liberating.
I’d like to close this afternoon with a beautiful poem composed by a rather underrated writer. I’ve found that “Author Unknown” has produced some terrific work over the years, and this poem is no exception. It is entitled “Forgiveness,” and it speaks to the very heart of our UU principle of “acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations.”
To forgive
Is not to forget.
To forgive
Is really to remember
That nobody is perfect
That each of us stumbles
When we want so much to stay upright
That each of us says things
We wish we had never said
That we can all forget that love
Is more important than being right.
To forgive
Is really to remember
That we are so much more than our mistakes
That we are often more kind and caring
That accepting another’s flaws
Can help us accept our own.
To forgive
Is to remember
That the odds are pretty good that
We might soon need to be forgiven ourselves.
That life sometimes gives us more
Than we can handle gracefully.
To forgive
Is to remember
That we have room in our hearts to
Begin again
And again,
And again.
So the next time your ghost comes floating out of the closet in the dead of night, don’t cower under the sheets. Sit up straight, wrap your arms around its ghostly body and tell it you love it – big scary flaws and all.
Once you’ve had your Hallmark moment, go ahead and ask it to help you rearrange the furniture in the living room. It’s high time it did something useful for once. Don’t you think?
Who are ya gonna call, kiddies?
- Dave
