You can't always get what you want ... Unless you're at the dentist

Well, Michael has just returned from his visit to the dentist. Or as I like to call it, "Disneyland in an office building." That place is absolutely unreal. It's got cheery green and purple chairs with huge pillows, X-Box games on flat-screens, a gigantic movie screen projecting everything from "The Chipmunks," to "Toy Story," to "Scooby-Doo." Oh, and you can watch your movie on the gigantic movie screen from your very own spaceship.

And that's just the lobby!!

Once you cross into the once-dreaded exam area, you've got a vast assortment of toys and your own personal flat-screen movie to watch while the dentist does his work. It's like heaven on Earth for a 4 year old. Michael had two cavities filled and a crown inserted this morning, and he didn't even blink an eye. When we left he actually mumbled "I want to live here," out of his extremely numb little mouth.

All I can say is ... THIS IS SO NOT FAIR!!! I never had movies, and X-Box games and space ships! They never let me wear ultra-cool sunglasses and listen to music while I had my teeth worked on! I never got to watch "Scooby-Doo!" This is an outrage! I demand justice! I want my childhood back!!

Here's what I remember about going to the dentist when I was a wee-lad. Keep in mind that I had a very good dentist and didn't really mind the experience. But compared to Michael's little playland, my experiences might as well have taken place in a cave somewhere. I remember a dark office with drab brown couches and silence. In the corner was a "kids" area that consisted of legos, dolls with body parts missing, and several "brushing your teeth is fun" kids books. The exam rooms were packed with creepy utensils and gas masks. The only "entertainment" consisted of large posters of flowers with messages like "Springtime is awesome!" hanging from the ceiling. Or something like that.

What a jip! My only question now is ... How young do you think I could pass for? Ten? Twelve? I hear they're playing "Cars" next week and I want to make sure I get a good seat on the spaceship.

Brush your teeth kiddies! Actually, scratch that. Don't brush your teeth kiddies! Then you can go to the dentist (yay!!!).

- Dave