Rude awakenings

My fellow Galactic Warriors. We are gathered here on Mount Kickbuttus overlooking the vast Sea of Awesome to pay tribute to one of the bravest, studliest and handsomest heroes that ever lived ... scratch, scratch, scratch ..... This man singlehandedly destroyed an entire colony of evil bad guys with a single photon ray and a yo-yo ... scratch, scratch, bark!! .... His valor is unmatched in the history of our great race and we are here today to honor him with the "Greatest Warrior in the Universe" medal, along with a lifetime supply of Mountain Dew .... scratch, bark!, bark!, scratch ... So if you would please take the podium, Sir Dave, we will begin the ceremony by showering you with money while the lovely maiden April begins massaging your shoulders with baby oil .... scratch, scratch, bark!, bark!, BAAAARRRKKKK!!!!!!" .................

So this is how my day begins lately. Rudely startled out of my beauty sleep (where I am the greatest warrior, guitar god, lover, finger painter, etc., in all of the universe) by a pesky and annoying little Yorkie named Jordan. The first thing I see each day when I open my eyes is little Jordie scratching and barking in front of the screen door in our bedroom. To make the scratching and the barking stop, I have to get up out of bed and open the screen door. By that time I am usually awake and forced to start my non-glamorous existence as a normal stay-at-homer in my ticky-tacky little box. Oh for a few more blessed minutes on Mount Kickbuttus with the medals and the Mountain Dew. Sigh.

Compounding my frustration is the fact that the Ward castle is in fact equipped with more than one door. There is actually a door located off the kitchen. April leaves this very door cracked every morning before she heads off to work. It opens to the back yard and everything.

Does Jordan ever think to use this door? Noooo! He refuses, actually. Jordan insists on using the closed screen door in our bedroom, and he makes sure I am good and awake to open it and let him out each and every morning. So it appears I'm doomed to an alarm clock of scratching and barking.

I guess I'll look on the bright side. It beats the heck out of talk radio.

Hang on to your dreams kiddies!

- Dave