The longest blog posting imaginable

Sheesh! It's been a while since the last posting. I guess when you combine Christmas, my sister's birthday, my anniversary, New Years Eve, New Years Day (also known as Football Day!), my grandpa's birthday, and a week-long please-kill-me-now cold, time seems to fly a wee bit.

What are ya gonna do?

Hope all had a wonderful holiday season. There were plenty off good times in the Ward castle. We started off with Winter Solstice at our church. I had the distinct honor of "smudging" people. Not as fun as one might envision, but still a fun time. Solstice is always my favorite ceremony of the year. A night to cast out all thoughts of materialism, greed and other holiday "cheer," and simply focus on the light. A night of meditation, reflection and drawing positive energy to bring forth into the new year.

My parents hosted Christmas festivities, featuring the predictable onslaught of gifts for little Michael. We headed home in a car stuffed with hockey nets, hockey helmets, hockey jerseys and a John Deere tractor. Just the thing for any aspiring hockey player/farmer! The true highlight of the season, however, featured a beautiful essay composed by my sister, Melissa, entitled "The True Sense of Christmas." It was a wonderful jaunt down memory lane that brought tears to the eye and tissue to the noses. Simply a remarkable work that everyone in the family will always treasure.

We celebrated Melissa's birthday at our favorite Italian joint in Eagle. Apparently Melissa and my Mom enjoyed a few refreshments before arriving, so it was a lively dinner! As usual, April and I spent most of it pleading "Michael stop that. Come back!," as the little three-year-old jaunted around the table laughing. Grandma and Grandpa provided their usual assistance with gems like "Oh, it's all right! He's okay!"

It should be noted we've never actually been banned from any restaurants. Although the waitresses always recognize us, even if we only go into the establishment once or twice a year. That's my boy!

April and I enjoy a happy, wonderful marriage (at least that's my side of the story!). However, we have extremely bad luck during our anniversary. A few years ago I planned an entire romantic evening, complete with a fancy dinner and a nice bottle of wine. I was going to be mister suave, the bleeding-heart romantic. What I actually ended up doing was puking my guts out the entire day. It seems I came down with a severe case of food poisoning on our special night. The lesson, as always, is never eat a burrito at a supermarket.

This year we had further bad luck. We returned home from Christmas with the usual "lets unpack everything and try to relax while our super-excited three-year-old trashes the house with his new toys," routine. In our exhaustion, we failed to realize that our cat was nowhere to be seen. After a day or two, it finally dawned on us that Smores was indeed missing in action. This is nothing new, however. Smores, like most cats, is a master at beaming herself to a parallel universe for a day or two, and then lazily reappearing on the kitchen table.

This time we found her curled up in Michaels' playroom in extremely bad shape. She could barely move or respond, and she looked like she hadn't eaten anything for several days. We rushed her to the vet, where they announced that she had suffered complete kidney failure. April took her home with a small hospital in the trunk, complete with IV bags, pills and special food. The plan was to give her IV fluids two to three times per day, and force her to eat pills roughly 350 times a day. April and I joked we were becoming the "cat lady" on The Office.

Not surprisingly, Smores wanted no part of this operation and refused all medical treatment. The only other option was to hospitalize her. Now, I love Smores. She's been with me through my entire adult life. I can still remember the first time she ran up to me in front of April's house in Pocatello. I was a scruffy 19-year-old, and she was Queen of the Poky street cats. She basically decided that I was going to adopt her. No question about it. She even told me so, right then and there. Along with several other stories that I couldn't understand, but knew must be very serious.

When April and I finally moved in together during college, Smores came as well. Together we traveled through the Rocky Mountains and ventured through the Arizona desert. Smores was there every step of the way, bellowing out her endless string of stories.

Smores was always my confidence booster. Whenever I felt like a moron, which was most of the time actually, I just looked over at my supremely confident cat and thought to myself "well if she's so damned sure of herself, I can be too." A simple stare could bring down empires. If you didn't agree with her, well then you were just too stupid to matter!

She was also my lap warmer. Countless evenings I would be sitting on the couch, minding my own business, when I would notice my lap was getting warmer and vibrating. I would look down to find Smores having materialized from her parallel universe onto my lap, purring like she's been there her entire life.

Well, it was one of the hardest decisions April and I have ever made, but we finally realized that embarking on a version of "Pet ER" wasn't going to work. For us or for Smores. We decided to send Smores to "a nice farm in the country." I miss her terribly, but I realize it was the right thing to do. No animal should suffer needlessly. She lived a very wonderful life and realized her dream of rising from the streets to become "Queen of the World."

Goodbye Smores! The world is a much less interesting place now.

This happened the day before our anniversary. April and I celebrated our number seven, but it wasn't a grand affair.

A short time later, April, Michael and I all caught nasty colds! We've spent the past two weeks emptying kleenex boxes and snorting Zicam. Living the dream, as it were!

So thus concludes the longest blog posting imaginable. A little diddy combining the celebration of life with the agonizing task of saying goodbye.

If you're still reading this, please douse yourself with ice water immediately and head to the store for some caffeine pills. Just make sure you stay away from the burritos!

Be good kiddies!

- Dave