Finding perspective

I realize I have not delivered on my promise to update Michael's preschool situation. So, here goes. April finally tracked down one of the teachers present at the evaluation. This is not easy. Apparently the evaluations are actually performed by trained navy seals who disappear under cover of night once the testing is over. There is no evidence of their presence, and no real way to know if it actually happened.

Anyway, the teacher remains confident that Michael was indeed evaluated as a bristling 3-year-old, and the mistake was solely on the information sheet. She feels "confident" that the results are accurate. We're still waiting for the seals to contact us from an undisclosed location with further orders. Stay tuned.

Now .... back to the show!

I lead a blessed life. Just thought I should get that out in the open. I have a beautiful wife, a darling little boy, a good home, a car, a husky, a tree fort, etc. If I require food, there is a grocery store right down the street. If I require fuel, there is a gas station at the grocery store. Coffee? The grocery store has a Starbucks too. Apparently I should move into the grocery store, but I digress.

The point is I don't suffer in any way. There are no bombs going off in my neighborhood. I don't have to stand in line for bread. When you consider the whole of human history, I have it pretty darn good. So, naturally, I spend an ample amount of time feeling sorry for myself. It's the American way!

I lament how I'm not "successful." How I don't feel "whole" and don't really have a "purpose." I'm great at sulking over vague concepts and placing importance on meaningless things. You know the routine -- "Poor me, I guess I'll just feel sorry for myself in my nice house and watch satellite TV. Boo hoo!"

I make myself sick! Every once in a while I come upon a situation that snaps me out of this delusion. I meet up with people with real problems and I am always astounded by the graceful way they handle it. They stare defiantly at pain, suffering and loss and never blink. I, on the other hand, cry like a little baby when my Fighting Irish lose the Gator Bowl on the Playstation (It's just too soon. I still can't talk about it).

Some good friends of mine just endured one of life's ultimate nightmares. They saw their beloved grandchildren taken away from their mother. Apparently the biological father, who lives several states away, swooped in and accused the mother and her new husband of abuse. The allegations alone allowed police to keep the children away from their mother for a full month while all parties had to endure a lengthy trial. All of this happened during the Christmas season.

The allegations are false, yet the entire mess has left the mother devastated and our friends equally mortified. It's a scene straight out of a bad lifetime movie. Yet it's as real as the sun rising every day.

I can't begin to imagine the pain my friends are feeling. How scared they must have been. Yet I am blown away with the dignity and strength with which they have handled it. They are true heroes in my eyes.

Kind of puts everything into perspective, doesn't it? Since this has happened, I find myself watching Michael and fully realizing just how much I love him. There is no adequate way to describe a parent's love for their children .... Unless, of course, you watch obscure movies starring Drew Barrymore! There is a scene from the movie "Riding in Cars with Boys," that has always stuck with me. (Save your breath, guys, I gave up my "man card" years ago). In this scene Barrymore's character is questioning her parenting skills and her love for her son. Brittany Murphy, who plays Barrymore's friend, unleashes a monologue for the ages.

"I think that sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it," her character begins. "Because if we actually felt how much we really love them, it would kill us."

This is very true when it comes to parenting. Most of the time you go through your day content with the knowledge that you love your kid. But, sometimes, you are flooded with a love so strong it stops your heart for a second. You realize you are just getting a taste of the genuine love you feel for them. A tiny glimpse into an emotion so powerful, it can't be safely experienced for more than a split second.

This past week I have watched Michael blissfully running around the house in his hockey jersey, smiling ear to ear, with a renewed appreciation. I know what it is to love. I know just how lucky I am. I give thanks for this blessed life!

Be thankful kiddies!

- Dave