Never fear for Jordan is here

There is an evil (pronounced e-vil) sprinkler monster dwelling in my backyard.

But I am not afraid.

Each night when the moon rises and the stars shine, this monster appears without warning, spraying dangerous waters of doom all over the innocent grass and trees.

But I am not afraid.

There is no reasoning with this instigator of terror. No hiding from its wrath. No escape.

But I am not afraid.

Why you ask? I have a protector. A little furry knight in shining armour sworn to protect me and my family from these forces of evil. Especially the watery evil this sprinkler monster spews forth with such venom.

His name is Jordan, and he spends every ounce of energy in his little Yorkie body fighting this water-gushing foe. No matter how terrifying the ordeal may be.

The moment little Jordie hears the sprinkler monster emerge from the depths of hell each night, he lets out a valiant whimper. He immediately and heroicly runs to the door and scratches for release, blatantly ignoring our desperate cries of, "No Jordie! Don't do it! It's too dangerous!!"

He merely snickers at our cowardice. Once the door is opened, little Jordie runs with all of his might directly at his nemisis. He charges straight into the stream of doom, barking and screaching as the evil waters submerge him. A few additional barks of warning later, little Jordie returns triumphantly into the house. His mission accomplished.

There he stands, soaked to the bone and brandishing a courageous look that says, "I did it guys! I did it for you! Fear not, your hero returns!"

Sure enough, thanks to little Jordie's act of heroism, the sprinkler monster returns to the depths of hell approximately 44 minutes later. We all let out a sigh of relief, knowing that we are safe and shall live to see the sun rise once more.

There is an evil sprinkler monster dwelling in my backyard.

But I am not afraid.

Go get em' kiddies!

- Dave