Shedding a tear for Tennessee

I'm sitting here at my computer this afternoon with a thousand different emotions flowing like rapids. Pain. Anger. Frustration. Confusion. Utter sadness. And thousands of emotions that I can't begin to define or recognize. I don't know whether to punch a hole in the wall, or cry in my hands.

The reason for these emotions is an event that took place thousands of miles away, to people that I have never met. Yet it might as well have occurred in my living room to my own family. Yesterday an armed gunman walked into a Unitarian Universalist church in Knoxville, Tennessee, and opened fire with a shotgun. An estimated 200 people hailing from two different UU congregations in the area were watching a performance by 25 children when the gunman entered, shouted obscenities, and opened fire. Two people were killed and five were critically injured. No children were harmed.

Let me write that again. A man entered a church filled with hundreds of people watching a kids play and opened fire. Two were killed. Five were critically injured and an entire community was left devastated and demoralized.

Why?

Why?

Why!!!!

This event strikes my very soul. I am a member of the Boise Unitarian Universalist Fellowship. I attend services each Sunday. I lead many of them. I serve on the Board of Directors. I dedicate my life to the Unitarian Universalist principles and practices ... chief among them is respecting the dignity and worth of every human being. THESE ARE MY PEOPLE!!

Each Sunday we gather together as a community to celebrate universal themes such as peace, love, and acceptance. We support each other in our individual questing for happiness and spiritual fulfillment. This is where we go to get away from the negativity, hopelessness and violence so prevalent in the "real world."

If you are not totally familiar with the Unitarian Universalist faith, you might have heard a few remarks regarding our zest for social action. You may have heard us called the "Gay Church," or the "Hippie Church," or other less flattering titles that I won't print here. Well, these titles are based in truth, and we're not ashamed of it. Yes, we are out pushing for social action whenever possible. We picket in front of city hall. We march in protests. We hound our civil leaders with phone calls and emails. We push for change whenever possible. Your damn right we do! But our means of protest are peaceful, civil and legal. If I could share one VITAL fact about the Unitarian Universalist faith, it would be this ... It is a faith completely and utterly against violence. We not only stand against the war in Iraq, we stand against war of any kind. We simply do not advocate violence. We are a peaceful faith.

This is why I can't make any sense out of this horrific act. It defies all explanation.

Please don't kid yourself. In the world we live in, this type of atrocity can occur at any time, or any place, for any reason. It could have been preschoolers celebrating "graduation" in front of proud parents at the local elementary school, or a dance recital. We all remember Columbine and Virginia Tech. I've pondered this reality all day while watching little Michael romp through his Monday, playing with his new "pool" table and excitedly pointing out letters and numbers he recognized while watching "Sesame Street." Parents all over the world, give your little ones a hug tonight and rejoice in the miracle they truly are. I know I will.

I've also pondered this reality while juggling it against the memories I hold of yesterday's service at BUUF. I was fortunate enough to participate in a moving service highlighting two men's rafting journey through the Grand Canyon. Through the magic of computers and slide projectors, these men took us along for the ride as they fought through rapids, gazed at Mother Nature's brilliant handiwork and bonded with several people that they did not know before the trip began. Every person in attendance left the service with a newfound appreciation for nature and an increased awareness of what a gift life truly is.

I'm juggling this message of hope and beauty against the horrific reality of what took place that same day in Tennessee. It's too much to fathom. I do believe, however, that trying times call for an outpouring of love. Not hate. We as a people must rise above mindless acts by misguided individuals. Harboring hate in your heart only allows it to fester and poison your entire being.

I believe we must come together in community and redouble our efforts to realize a world that focuses on love, not hate. Peace, not violence. Compassion, not division. This may be the impossible dream, but it sure beats the alternative. It beats wasting this gift of life on fear, anger and resentment.

For all of my fellow UU counterparts, let us begin a process of healing. Of finding our way through the murky darkness of anger and despair and back toward the healing light of love. On that note, I'd like to print here a Meditation that I read yesterday at BUUF. A stirring piece written by author Leaf Seligman entitled "Each Breath." May her wonderful message of hope give some comfort in this trying time ...

"Each Breath," by Leaf Seligman

Loving God,

We pause in the stillness to rest for a moment, to quiet ourselves so that we can feel what stirs within us. Each breath draws us closer to the pulse of life and with each exhalation we make room for something new. May we find in this gathering the comfort of those who care. May we encounter patience along our growing edges and compassion in our most tender spots. Here may we find the inspiration and encouragement we need to face our challenges and nurture ourselves. And in the presence of suffering across the globe, may we redouble our efforts to practice kindness where we are, with the hope that the light of our actions travels like the light of faraway stars. May our gestures of compassion and generosity seed possibility. May we walk humbly with one another, choosing reconciliation over resentment as we try to live right-sized. When life presses in and shifts us off balance, when pain assails us, when frustration mounts, may the rhythm of our breath steady us and bring us back to a place of gratitude.

- David