Watering the rocks

Boy do I feel lucky. Yes I say 'lucky, lucky me.' I just happen to live in a neighborhood that features one of the most innovative road crews in the state. Or perhaps the nation. These guys and gals have singlehandedly taken everything I thought I knew about the fine art of road repairs and set it all on its head. Transformed the medium right before my obviously naive and ignorant eyes.

Again I say 'lucky, lucky me.'

I didn't realize how little I knew about road repairs until I witnessed these Picasso's of the gravel arts in action. It all started last week when trucks roamed through the neighborhood dumping tons and tons of loose rock on top of the roads. Now, I've seen this little maneuver before. In all of my previous, and unenlightened, experiences crews followed up by dumping tar on top of the rocks. This sealed the entire substance together and magically created a new and improved road. It's fun to drive on. Great to look at. And smells like a tar pit in springtime (yum!).

Well this little maneuver must have been far too amateurish for these fine masters of their road-repair craft. Up until this afternoon the roads in my neighborhood were left completely alone. All of my neighbors and I were given the great opportunity to drive over loose rock day after glorious day. Personally, I loved it. Our family has a cabin located in a remote Idaho mining town. The only road in and out of this town is a gravel beauty that kicks up enough dust reach monsoon status in several states. So naturally I bumped and bopped through our neighborhood this week filled with glorious visions of mountains and streams, while completely ignoring the Hummers on my tail.

This very afternoon our heroes of the asphault unleashed their mind-blowingly innovative scheme. They sent trucks through the entire neighborhood once again. And just what where these new trucks doing, you ask? Why, they were dumping tons of water on top of the rocks.

I never would have thought of that!

Loose rocks and water! It's so unexpected, so thinking out of the box. I'm sure these new roads are going to be absolutely spectacular! As soon as we're finished running our cars through this sloppy, muddy mess that is.

Brilliant right?

Keep those thinking caps on kiddies.

- Dave

Rude awakenings

My fellow Galactic Warriors. We are gathered here on Mount Kickbuttus overlooking the vast Sea of Awesome to pay tribute to one of the bravest, studliest and handsomest heroes that ever lived ... scratch, scratch, scratch ..... This man singlehandedly destroyed an entire colony of evil bad guys with a single photon ray and a yo-yo ... scratch, scratch, bark!! .... His valor is unmatched in the history of our great race and we are here today to honor him with the "Greatest Warrior in the Universe" medal, along with a lifetime supply of Mountain Dew .... scratch, bark!, bark!, scratch ... So if you would please take the podium, Sir Dave, we will begin the ceremony by showering you with money while the lovely maiden April begins massaging your shoulders with baby oil .... scratch, scratch, bark!, bark!, BAAAARRRKKKK!!!!!!" .................

So this is how my day begins lately. Rudely startled out of my beauty sleep (where I am the greatest warrior, guitar god, lover, finger painter, etc., in all of the universe) by a pesky and annoying little Yorkie named Jordan. The first thing I see each day when I open my eyes is little Jordie scratching and barking in front of the screen door in our bedroom. To make the scratching and the barking stop, I have to get up out of bed and open the screen door. By that time I am usually awake and forced to start my non-glamorous existence as a normal stay-at-homer in my ticky-tacky little box. Oh for a few more blessed minutes on Mount Kickbuttus with the medals and the Mountain Dew. Sigh.

Compounding my frustration is the fact that the Ward castle is in fact equipped with more than one door. There is actually a door located off the kitchen. April leaves this very door cracked every morning before she heads off to work. It opens to the back yard and everything.

Does Jordan ever think to use this door? Noooo! He refuses, actually. Jordan insists on using the closed screen door in our bedroom, and he makes sure I am good and awake to open it and let him out each and every morning. So it appears I'm doomed to an alarm clock of scratching and barking.

I guess I'll look on the bright side. It beats the heck out of talk radio.

Hang on to your dreams kiddies!

- Dave